Saturday, July 31, 2010
now romeo and juliet, bet they never felt the way we felt. bonnie and clyde never had to hide like we do. you and i, both know it can't work, it's all fun and games until someone gets hurt, and i don't, i won't let that be you. now i don't wanna let go and you don't wanna let me know that there might be something real between us two, who knew? now we don't wanna fall, we're tripping in our hearts and it's reckless and clumsy, because i know you can't love me. i wish we had another time, i wish we had another place. but everything we have is stuck in the moment, and there's nothing my heart can do, to fight with time and space 'cause i'm still stuck in the moment with you.
Wednesday, July 28, 2010
i can't get you out of my head. the things you said and took back was the worst thing you could do to me. i dream about you every night, and i don't want too. i don't want to want you 24/7. every thing you said, i could believe. because in the past? i could trust you more than my best friend, with absolutely every thing. i came to you about every single guy that had hurt me, all you did, no, all you needed to do was look into my eyes, as deep as you could, give me the look that would always take my breath away, and tell me it's all going to be okay. you would smile, give me a nudge and you would leave. missing one second of form class, would ruin my whole day. your face and your voice would give me enough energy to make it through the day. you really don't mean what you mean.. meant to me. do you? when you broke our promise, you didn't even realise.
Monday, July 26, 2010
some body knocked some sense into me last night, and it all made sense. i suddenly realised, i only call you my best friend because we have known each other and been so close for so long, that i don't know what it's like to be with out you. you don't listen when i need help, you tell me to fuck off. but, when you need help? i put every thing aside for you, just so i can make you smile again. i try knock some sense in to you, but you come back with the same problems, but they are worse. what's the meaning of a best friend too you? because, i really don't think i can come to some body like you any more. i can't be thrown around when i'm upset. it's not fair, i'd rather bottle it all up, then come to you, who makes it worse. we are okay, but best friends? you don't even know what it means.
Monday, July 19, 2010
"this kind of strange day doesn't occur often. you no longer seem to know what you want, school or time off. redecorate your room. it's hard to communicate because you feel it's pointless to try to explain your point of view, especially when you don't know what it is. the best thing to do may be to unplug from your usual activities and go for a walk. this confusion will pass."
Sunday, July 18, 2010
"why are you kissing me?" "what do you mean?" "you told me you had no feelings for me? are you trying to hurt me?" "no?" "i don't want somebody who i like, that doesn't like me back, to kiss me?" "i do like you, i'm just sick of all the shit i've been hearing." "the shit you've heard isn't true, trust me, you know you can, you have for years, why change your mind now?"
Saturday, July 17, 2010
things got ugly last night, i only realised now that what happened, i shouldn't of let happen, he shouldn't of either. me and him love spending time with each other, but remember how i told you that he promised that he would never hurt me? well he did. i ended it with him, said i only want to be friends now, that i'm sick of the mixed messages hes giving me. i rang you several times because i needed someone to cry to, i needed to be with you, i needed a shoulder to cry on. you picked up, and hung up every single time. slam the phone down in my ears, when i needed my best friend the most. you weren't there, you were with the guy you claim to not love, leading him on, whilst dating another.
it's been awhile since we first met, and we've had a great run, haven't we? we've been so close, for so long. my lil bro, your big sis. you are the first person i see nearly every single school day. whenever i'm down, you lift me up. these holidays have really killed me, not being able too see that amazing smile and listen to your voice. i've missed you more than i think one should, and although i know i shouldn't feel like this, and all of the shit we have done and said? i think that maybe, it's best we just stay friends. i mean you're amazing, you're different, you aren't like them. but, feeling like this, has twisted my brain and you've said things and taken them back. you've heard nonsense and believed them over me, when you used to trust me with everything. we both said that feeling like this would ruin what we had/have. and now? i agree, it could have. it's seriously change the way we see each other and i can have more serious conversations with you now and you'd understand everything i'd say and you'd take it in. we've changed, this friendship? it's like we only just met, all over again. it breaks my heart, really.. i miss you, more than i ever have.
Thursday, July 8, 2010
thing is, you never really knew how much i missed you, when i said i did. you never really knew how much i felt when i saw you. you never really knew how happy you made me. you never really knew that what you said, would change my day completely. that with one text message from you, would make my day. whenever you called me babe, would make me smile ten times more than i wanted too. i would sleep and go out in your jersey, because it made me feel safe. you generally made me happy. you promised me with a kiss, that you would never ever hurt me.. turns out, you're just another boy.