i don't know how you feel or what you've been through. in fact, i'm not even a part of your life anymore. which is your decision, and i understand that you'd never forgive me for what i've done. but, i still find time in my day to read every single one of your blogs i haven't read yet. sometimes, i read over them more than once. reading these blogs of yours, makes me want to feel your pain with you so i know how to help you. stupid? i guess so. i don't know anymore. but the words i've read of yours lately, during these past two weeks, it seems to me like you're struggling and losing your best friend at the same time isn't the best, especially when she's the only one you need at the moment. i can see your pain, i know you're not okay. i want to help, and i want you to be happy. i don't want you to just smile, i want you to feel like you're completely alive, without drugs and alcohol. i hope you can get better and feel okay soon. i want to help, but i understand that you wouldn't want me to. even if helping was trying to take your mind off things. i'm here, like i said.
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