leave me the fuck alone.

we're only young. i can do what the fuck i want. for once, i have no drama's in my life and i don't need bitch's shit. so fuck off if you're going to come bitch to me about somebody because i'll just shut your black arse up. we're only young. it's better to do everything you want, when you want to do it. then not doing it wishing you did. so fuck off. this is my life and you don't tell me what to do. fucking fat bitch.

fuck you.

i fucking hate myself for loving you. this feeling will never go away and that makes me so fucking mad. i did everything for you, i went out of my way and canceled plans for you. i would wake up at any time of the night or morning for you, make you things on special public holidays, i tried to prove myself to you for so fucking long and you still don't get it. you fucking used me so much, but i loved you. yes, LOVED. i fucking loved you. i don't love you anymore, but apart of my heart always will. because you were my first fucking everything. the last thing you said to me was 'you can trust me.' i cant trust you! i will never trust you again, i will never fall for your flower talk again. it's not fair, you're not fair. i fucking miss you and i fucking wish things could be better. but you have clearly made your decision. you can ignore me all you want now, because i won't be here to ignore anymore. you're fucking amazing, and i can't make up my mind. why did you, why are you doing this to me! i'll miss you. this is good bye. i don't see the good in it though. maybe, this will change me. meeting you changed me. i wonder if saying good bye can too.

scar.

so the next one came along with a bag of treats, he smelled like
sugar and spoke like the sea. he said don't trust them, trust me.
then he pulled at my stitches one by one, looked at my insides
clicking his tongue and said "this will all have to come undone."
a triangle trying to squeeze through a circle. he tried to blunt me
so i'd fit. doesn't that sound familiar? doesn't that hit too close to
home? doesn't that make you shiver; the way things could have
gone? doesn't it feel peculiar when everyone wants a little more?
and so that do remember to never go that far, could you leave
me with a scar? i think i realized just in time, although my old self
was hard to find. you can bathe me in your finest wine, but i'll
never give you mine. because i'm a little bit tired of fearing that
i'll be the bad fruit nobody buys. tell me, did you think we'd
all dream the same?

he is we.

broken glass and a pretty face. silent mourn, full of hate. quiet face, silent mourn. screaming for consequence, pleading for more.

i'll give you this.

look at me now, take a look at what i've become. look how much i've changed. look how i learnt from my mistakes (you). don't thank yourself that i'm finally someone. you taught me something, i'll give you that.

"i like you.."

don't sit there and tell me you like me and then the next minute insult me like i was the one who did something wrong. don't fucking pin this on me. i like you too. so don't make this any fucking harder for me. please.

we could have made it.

we hardly knew each other. we both knew that things wouldn't work. you couldn't commit to anything or anyone. we were only together for two weeks and you did four different things that tore me to pieces every time. but, as i do. i forgive, i always do. we stopped seeing each other because feelings went, although you were the second person i've slept with. it's hard sometimes. i used to think and make sure it meant something, but with you? you were heartless. i didn't know you were using me from the start, just because me and her were mates, doesn't mean it'd hurt her. we only knew each other, we weren't even friends. you are heartless and i miss you like crazy. which sometimes makes me sick and sometimes makes me cry. were friends, were not, were friends, were not. you're so confusing. your eyes locked with mine today, mine left yours first today. your always leave first, like you don't even care. but today? you gave me the heebjeebies. it was the same feeling you gave me the first time i layed eyes on you. your smile today, meant something. and i fucking miss you more and i hate myself for it.